Beholding Jesus

John 19:17-27

It is amazing to me that Jesus had to carry his own cross to the place of crucifixion when He had already been beaten and tortured so much. It says that Pilate wrote the title “Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews”. The title that hung above the cross in those days was usually the accusation of why the person was being crucified, this statement made the chief of priests of the Jews angry. He wanted Pilate to change what it said because he said he was the king of the Jews. Pilate would not change it though, because he new the truth. I love that he did not change it because what hung above Jesus, was absolute truth and what the chief of priests wanted to change it to say was probably just going to be an accusation but not truth of why they were crucifying the Son of God, the King of the Jews. They were crucifying Jesus for being a King, the one that they all had waited for; they were now killing because he did not come how they had imagined He would.

The next part of the passage talks about how the soldiers would not tear Jesus’ garments after He was crucified, but they cast lots to see who would obtain the garments. The bible says they did this just to fulfill the prophecy that was written. Amongst the men it says that they actually said talked about how they would not tear them but cast lots so the scripture was fulfilled. That statement confuses me because these men were the ones that did not believe that Jesus was the Son of God, the King of the Jews and now they wanted to fulfill scriptures about the Messiah? Maybe I just haven’t studied it enough, but I do plan on looking more into that, it was just a thought I had.

The last verses in this section of scripture talk about Jesus seeing His mother standing at the cross. I cannot imagine what Mary was thinking, her son, the one that was conceived supernaturally, now dying on a cross. I wonder if she questioned God? What a journey she was on, Jesus’ last words to her were Woman behold your son. I wonder if she knew what that meant? I remember when she told that she was going to be pregnant with Jesus; she pondered all those things in her heart, so clearly she was a woman who beheld what God said. I wonder if she knew this was not the end, really only the beginning of something new. I cannot imagine being in her shoes, the pain she must of felt.

Luke 23:26-43

Our God is such a God of compassion, even in the brutality of what was happening to Him, in the pain, in the suffering, He cries out and says Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do. That is amazing to me, I think about suffering we go through, or pain I have been through and my reaction during those times, it usually is not one of compassion, but one of retaliation, if not acting it out, at least in my heart, not always, but sometimes. God change my heart to make it more like yours so I can have compassion on those who do not know what they do.

A lot of times I think we breeze by those few words that Jesus says, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do”. I have to remind myself that He said these words out loud, He didn’t just think them, but spoke them. I wonder what those around Him reaction was when He said these words. I would think that it probably made them more angry, they maybe would have beat Him more, thinking that He was blaspheming, little did they know that He was asking for their forgiveness for eternity. Oh if they could have seen Jesus for who He really was, they would weep. I wonder how many of those that were taunting Him and yelling at Him turned to Him after His resurrection?

Matthew 27:45-56

The one thing that stuck out to me while meditating on this portion of scripture was verse 54 when the centurion and those with him, the guards, saw the earthquake and everything that happened, they said “Truly this was the Son of God!” What a revelation?! I wonder what they did with that revelation? I wonder if they told others, if they repented, if they even knew what true repentance was? I wonder if these men were saved? I think about it and I am amazed at God’s grace, he allowed these men to see the wonder and see that Jesus was the Son of God, they had to have believed especially when they saw He rose again 3 days later!

John 19:28-37

“It is finished”, this portion of scripture focuses mainly on the prophecies being fulfilled about Jesus through scriptures. I wonder what people thought when Jesus said it is finished? I wonder if they knew what he was talking about. The Pharisees were ones who knew the scriptures well, I wonder if as the day progressed and they saw different portions of the scripture being fulfilled if they started to question the decision that they made to Crucify the Christ? It’s crazy for me to think, this was God’s way of redemption for us. Anyone who knew the truth of who Christ was would not want Him to die, but He had to! He had to die, so that we could be with Him, He loves us that much, to die so that we can redeemed, washed white as snow by His blood shed on the cross. He really loves us, and when you really meditate on His death, it breaks your heart, but then the thought comes, but He had to. “but he had to” why was this the way the Father chose? Why couldn’t it be another way? This really was the only way, so that He could be the ultimate sacrifice, God loves us enough to come as a man and be crucified, it all blows my mind.

For this meditation, I will be focusing on the account of the Crucifixion from John 19:17-37, taking apart the story fragment by fragment.

v. 17-18 : The crucifixion of Jesus takes place between two thieves, calling forth the Messianic prophecies of Psalm 22 and Isaiah 53. In Psalm 22, David is given divine insight into the heart of Christ on the Cross as he echoes in the first person the agony of the God-Man on the cross: “I am poured out like water; my heart…is melted within me.” We are given a glance into what was taking place in the mind of Christ while suffering on the tree, and into the hope which He had set before Himself that strengthened Him in His hour of despair: “The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek Him shall praise the Lord! May your hearts live forever!” Christ set His own future inheritance in us before Him as His source of strength in the midst of the most agonizing persecution any man will ever endure. This fact alone silences every accusation of worthlessness or unimportance that can be thrown at a man: Christ’s eyes were set upon us.

v. 19-22. : This is one of the most intriguing verses in the entire story of the Crucifixion. Pilate prepares a sign to hang above the head of the Crucified that would declare His “crimes” to every passerby that would look upon Him. Instead of inscribing an accusation or crime, Pilate instead writes what will one day become the holy declaration of all Israel: “Jesus of Nazareth. King of the Jews.” It would be easy to write off this simple statement as a mere mistake on Pilate’s part, if it were not for the discourse which takes place following his actions. The Jews demand that the sign be changed to notify all that Jesus had CLAIMED to be the King of the Jews. Pilate, however, blatantly refuses. This must cause us to question the true nature of Pilate’s brief interrogation of Christ in v. 9-11, the immediate aftermath of which is the apparent attempt by Pilate to remove the sentence of death looming over the Son of God. Whatever the outcome of this was, the Lamb slain before the foundations of the earth now hangs for all to see with His true eternal identity boldly declared to all who will look upon Him (reminiscent of Numbers 21).

v.23-30 : The patient endurance of Christ for the sake of His beloved ones is portrayed with such beauty in this passage that the full implications are too much for me to comprehend. In the midst of agonizing pain: His lungs filling up with blood, His bones and internal parts protruding from what was once His skin, Christ takes a moment to commission His “beloved disciple” with caring for His mother. After this, He is somehow able to understand that within this span of time the full weight of every sin has been laid upon Him. At this point, He gives up His spirit. To begin to recognize the weight of what has occurred, we must dismantle it:

1. The commissioning of the Beloved Disciple to care for His mother: If Biblical pattern is to hold true, then we can, with caution, assume that even though this event did LITERALLY take place, there are further depths than what initially meets the eye. In the book of Revelation, we are shown a Mother with her Child- “the faithful remnant of Israel throughout history” (Mike Bickle). It may be reasonable to conclude that Jesus in essence commissions those who will believe in Him in the future to steward the gift they have been given by sharing it with Israel, in order for Christ to one day enter Jerusalem to the cry of “Blessed is He Who comes in the name of the Lord!”

2. Jesus gives up His spirit. I believe it was A.W. Tozer who remarked on the endurance of Christ in that He had to consent to every single blow, lash, and nail He received on the Cross. Though He was a suffering man, He could at any time have “called off the whole show” and left us to destruction. This is reinforced by the fact that, from what is discernable by Scripture; Christ was not going to die until He decided to. Of course, He did all things in the perfect will of the Father, but we must realize the implication of the reality that He had a choice. Jesus eludes to this reality in John 10:8 when He says “No one takes My life from Me, but I willingly give it up…”. We must come face to face with the fact that for an entire day of torture, humiliation, and beating, Christ chose at every moment to not give up His life. With every strike of the hammer, sending Roman nails ripping through flesh and muscle, Christ chose not to give up His life. Even more, for HOURS He CHOSE to suffer, til all the weight of sin had been borne. Only when the last drop of blood that must be shed had trickled from His rapidly emptying veins did He choose to go on to death.

Through the crucifixion many prophesies were fulfilled. I love seeing how time after time things happened and fulfilled scripture. How could you doubt that this is the One who the Old Testament talks about? Everything lines up. There is no contradiction whatsoever. There has never been another like Him. There never will be. He is the One and Only Savior and Messiah. It is only through His blood that we are cleansed and washed whiter than snow. His death took the sin and shame of the whole world. On that cross all of your transgressions were there with Him. All the sin that you ever have done or will do in the future.

Pilot wrote Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews on the plaque that was above Jesus’ head. Pilot acknowledged Jesus has this man. Jesus was actually being acknowledged as King. This is His rightful place. During His death it was being proclaimed. It prophesied Who He was, Who He is, and Who He forever will be. The priests were not happy with this and wanted Pilot to change the inscription. They did not see Jesus as their Messiah and didn’t want people to believe that that is who He is. Pilot would he would not change it. He said, “What I have written, I have written” (John 19:22)

And Jesus said, “Father forgiven them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34

His heart must have been breaking. He showed so much forgiveness, even in the midst of persecution and pain. He wasn’t worrying about Himself but instead those around Him. If He was willing to find those who physically killed Him why do you doubt that He will forgive your sins? You think that you have done so much wrong but don’t you see your sin is neither too big nor too small for this Man. He forgave those who were mocking Him, abusing Him, and at the end killing Him. He did this for you too. His blood covers all things and makes them as white as snow. His forgiveness is instantaneous. All it takes is acknowledging Who He is and what He has done for you. Just like one of the criminals did. Jesus immediately welcomed this man into his inheritance as a son of God.

As the people were mocking Jesus Christ telling Him to save Himself I can only imagine His thoughts. “Don’t you know that I am doing this for you? This isn’t about me being alive for eternity but for you. You may not see it now but all this is for you. One day your mocking will turn into praise. One day instead of you hitting me and on spitting on me you will be lifting me up. Through my death you will have life. I will conquer the grave so you don’t have to worry about it. In Me you will find salvation. In Me you will have power. In Me you will have your inheritance. I am the way.”

And Jesus cried out with a loud voice and yielded up His spirit. Matthew 27:50

We all have a choice to make. God will never force His actions upon us. We must submit to His will. Just as Jesus did when we yielded up His spirit.

And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom…Matthew 27:51

In the Temple only certain priests were allowed to go behind the curtain. This is where the Lord dwelled. They had to be without sin or they would be killed in the presence of the Lord. When Jesus died He paid the price for sin. All who come to Him will have their sins washed away. They will become spotless and about to come into the presence of the Lord. When the veil was torn it symbolized everyone being about to go to the Lord themselves. They no longer had to go through a priest or an elder.

God’s love is amazing. The Father allowed his Son to go through immense pain and suffering just so that we could be with Him. He had such a desire for us that He would willingly send His Son to save us. It is through Jesus we are saved. Are sins are washed away and we are found perfect before the King of Kings.

Luke 23:26-43
They led You away. Jesus You submitted to death even death on a cross. You allow weak men to lead You to the cross. Every step You said yes. At any moment You could have called a legion of angels down but You chose to say yes to the will of the Father. You were fully human. You were in so much pain. They had already beaten You and marred You face beyond recognition. Every step was filled with pain. Your entire body was throbbing. Still You said yes.
They commissioned Simon the Cyrene to carry the cross for You. Jesus You were fully man. You were too weak to carry the cross. The skin on Your back was completely ripped off and the cross weighed upon the open wounds. You fully embraced humanity even our fleshly limitations. You were the One who spoke creation into being and now human weakness prevented You from carrying the cross.
You didn’t pause Your humanity to get through the crucifixion.You didn’t step out of the garments of flesh so as to endure the cross. No. You felt every blow. You felt all the pain. You had no sedatives. The pain was real. You didn’t just check out as the beat You and ripped Your flesh. You endured it all.
What was the walk up to the Golgotha like? You forced Your feet forward despite the excruciating pain and tormenting voiced of the crowd. The women of Jerusalem wailed loudly but they had no clue who You really were. You were just another Jewish boy being put to death by the Romans. They had no idea that this torn up, bloodied man was saving all of humanity in His death. The crowd mocked and scoffed the very One who was giving them breathe and saving their souls.
On the cross You prayed for us. You were hanging on a cross. Your entire body was screaming in pain yet still You turned Your heart and prayed for us. As You were bearing the sin and shame of all of humanity You made intercession on their behalf. Love and desire for a bride kept You hanging there. What kind of love is this, that You go so low?
You were crucified with criminals. You so trusted Your Father. You knew He would exalt You and give You the bride You so desired. You submitted to the lowest death. You were numbered among the criminals. You, the holy and righteous One, hung among wicked men.
As You were dying the soldiers were dividing up Your cloths. The people looking on sneered and mocked You. Jesus, You are the meekest King. You could have wiped them all out. You could have sent fire from heaven and fried them all. You chose to stay on the cross dying for the sins of the ones mocking and crucifying You.
They sneered at You to save Yourself. Oh Jesus You were the humblest man. All the while love was covering our sins, meekness was restraining divine power (Allen Hood). They challenged You to prove Yourself. They called on You to save Yourself. It was Your very willingness to die that was saving them. You were making a way for God and man to be together again.
You saved the man hanging next to You. Jesus You blow me away. Instead of being consumed with Your pain, You made intercession for us and then saved the man next to You. You had every right to think about Yourself, You were the perfect One. At every turn You became the servant of all. You are worthy of the highest praises.
John 19:28-37
You gave up Your spirit. No man could take it from You but it had to be given willingly. You gave it up as the penalty. You took on the wrath of God. In the giving of Yourself, You gave me life. Thank You, Jesus.
The soldiers came to break Your legs. They went first to the criminals besides You. When they got to You they didn’t even need to break Your legs, You were already dead. They pierced Your side and blood and water poured out.
Here’s the scene. Jesus had just died the most gruesome death available. They had marred Him beyond recognition. His back was open flesh. The soldiers walk up to the crosses. They break the legs of the criminals. They walk up to Jesus. They were veteran soldiers and they knew what dead men looked like. The Romans realized Jesus was dead. One of them lifted up his spear and stabbed Jesus’ side. Blood and water poured out. The Lord of Glory had given Himself for sinful man.
Matthew 27:45-56
The veil in the temple was torn when You gave up Your spirit. The earth was shaken and rocks split open. Jesus You died in such humble circumstance yet Your power shook things still. The veil in the temple that separated man from God was ripped apart. You bridged the gap. In You the Father reconciled all things together again.

Meditation 8

The passage begins with an unthinkable circumstance. The creator of the earth, the sustainer of all things visible and invisible, the One who will rule and reign over the universe forever allows a group of sinful, hateful men to abuse him, saying “the soldiers took charge of Jesus.” Who can take charge of God? Who can control the sovereign Lord without His consent? No one! This God allowed Himself to be taken advantage of, and to even be taken charge of. This perfectly holy man carried His own cross and was crucified, between two criminals nonetheless. Utter humiliation. This truly is a stumbling block. Many Muslims I have dialogued with in the past do not believe that Jesus was the Son of God, because they do not believe that God would allow Himself to die. They do not believe that God would do any action that would make Him any less. I agree with them. God could never do any action that would bring shame to Him and lessen His glory. This act is the beauty and glory of God. “God is love,” and the death of Christ does the exact opposite of lessen His glory. His great humility demonstrates the great wonder of God.

As we continue in the story, we see Pilate put up a sign saying, “The King of the Jews” above Jesus’ cross. Pilate was not necessarily insulting Jesus, but the Jews as a whole here. This is why the Jews were so angry about it. Jesus’ death was and is and will forever be the greatest moment in all of history. Even Jesus’ return and physical defeat of Satan is not as glorious as the terrible beauty of the cross. All of time is centered on this one single moment! But somehow it is used as a petty political jab. The authorities used this as a chance to make a statement to the Jews. What foolishness!? They truly were not able to recognize the signs of the times! It is absolutely infuriating that something so terrible and great was used for something so base and cruel. The death of God was not recognized, but was used as a means of political advantage. What a sick world we live in. But what great humility and mercy that Jesus willingly died under these conditions. Amidst the great pain and horrible agony of betrayal by those closest to Him, Jesus never wavered for a second, but was totally faithful to the end. Truly, John was right we he said, “He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not know him” (John 1:10). How could we possibly ever complain about our lives in the face of Christ? I am humbled to the point of shame, but Christ lifts up my face and says, “You are beautiful and spotless.” It is not right for me to accept His mercy, but I have no other chance, and I love and respect Him.

Jesus’ death is still more filled with agony beyond even the political powers, insufferable pain, and emotional carnage that His disciples caused and will cause throughout history to Him. Even the very men who crucify Him play poker for His clothes, before His very eyes. Can you even imagine hanging on the cross and having a group of dirty, crude, and bitter soldiers playing games over who will get your clothes? But Jesus cries, “Father, forgive them. For they do not know what they are doing.” This statement, upon reflection, makes me furious. They do know what they are doing! They are hateful, wicked men, and don’t deserve forgiveness of any kind! But I am then hit with the realization and remembrance of who I am without the work of the Holy Spirit. Without God, I was and am just as bad as these men. Was it not these same men who just hours later proclaimed “Surely He was the Son of God!” I don’t know what ended up happening to the soldiers, but I know that had I been a Roman soldier, I would have done the same thing, and am so grateful for Jesus’ forgiveness of them. This is how He forgave me, and all of us.

Immediately after such a heart-breaking act, Jesus reacts with continued mercy and wisdom. I am convinced that beyond the great mercy, humility, and love of Jesus, He was truly the most intelligent man to ever walk the earth. Jesus was a complete genius. His thoughts are above our thoughts. The words He speaks are so divine that they will still be making profound waves for all of eternity. Even now, on the cross, Jesus, in His divine wisdom calls forth His mother and blesses her for the last time as a man. He fulfills His duty as her son by making sure that she is taken care of for her earthly life by calling for His beloved disciple John and declaring him her son. I wonder how John felt about this responsibility. He never mentioned it again that I know of, but I wonder if He wasn’t honored. Jesus seldom asked for any favor from anyone, but here gives John the holy task of caring for a widow. I imagine that He felt great honor at such a task given by His Rabbi and friend.

Lastly, I am provoked by those who approach the cross to mock Jesus. Again, I know that without the sanctifying work of the Spirit I would do the same thing, but I am overwhelmed by the complete indecency of the Jews. They go far beyond trying to rid their synagogue of heresy and blasphemy. The Jews here demonstrate the hatred and sinfulness in their hearts by spitting at, mocking, cursing, and humiliating Jesus. They provoke Him by taunting Him, but Jesus remains silent. It’s really wild to me that the most intelligent and wise man to ever walk the earth did not reply in any way. My natural inclination would be to at least try to think of something clever to say that would bring shame to them and possibly lead them to repentance, but Jesus knows what is better, and He chooses compete silence. He suffers their threats just as He suffered in the trial – without a word to defend Himself. Jesus, You are so wise and beautiful.

Crucifixion: John 19:17-27 and Luke 23:26-43

Jesus speaks about so much in each account of the gospels but none of them seem to say much about His words during His crucifixion and death. Was it because the disciples kept their distance out of fear that they would be killed along with Him? It must have truly pained the disciples to look on and watch Jesus suffer. In part, I’m sure, because they loved Him dearly and no one wants to see their friend in pain let alone being tortured. But I think also because it forced them to face the reality that they were doing nothing. I mean, I’m not so sure the disciples fully understood that Jesus HAD to die in order for our sin to be cleansed and our hearts to be reconciled. Why else would they have not believed the women who reported that He had risen? Or run to see with their own eyes? So, if that’s true, the whole torture and crucifixion must have been incredibly confusing and depressing for them. The Son of God that was supposed to be their Savior (which I’m sure meant to some that He would revolt against the Roman occupation) was now being killed. They saw Him bleeding, worn down….and NOT FIGHTING BACK. I’m sure their minds were swimming with doubt of His divinity, and condemnation (conviction?) for doubting all at the same time! Not to mention the fact that regardless of whether He really was who He claimed to be, He was their friend and teacher and they weren’t doing ANYTHING to save Him. NOTHING. I can only imagine their hearts, minds, and spirits in a bitter war all the while hoping no one recognizes them and kills them as well.

            I can’t help but wondering if the same was true for Jesus. Did it pain Him to see His friends hiding in the crowd? I’m sure He knew it would be this way, but He was fully Man. Surely it ached His heart to watch His friends watch from a far out of fear. But we don’t know what all He was thinking. I can only go back to the revelation I had from our mediation on Jesus in the Garden. He was fully Man and fully God. His heart, His spirit, KNEW this was required of Him. He desired our affections and devotions. This is simply an outpouring of the intense passion for us that consumed His heart. What about His flesh? If His flesh was in such turmoil in the Garden, was it any less now as He felt every single pain and pure exhaustion? Surely not! What flesh enjoys torture and death…and yet all He heard was His beloved, the very ones He was dying for crying out “crucify Him!”

            But just as in the Garden, we see His flesh submitting as His spirit cries out to the weeping women… “I’m not the One you should be mourning for. Mourn for yourselves and the generations to come. Worst things are coming. A great and terrible day is coming. You will wish you were barren or even dead than face that day.” Wow. He knew even then, while His flesh was in great pain but His spirit was pressing on, that some would still not choose to accept His sacrifice and be judged one day. He didn’t JUST die for my sin. He spoke blessing over His beloved as He laid down His life. “Abba, they have no clue what I’m doing and what you’re doing through me. Please forgive them. They don’t know any better.” Lord, give me revelation of the sacrifice you made…not just of the flesh, but of Your emotions and heart.

Death: John 19:28-37 and Matthew 27:45-56

“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” This phrase has been explained to me and taught to me countless number of times…and it still absolutely baffles me. How did Jesus who was fully God, feel abandoned from the Father, also fully God? I guess now my thought is HOW DID HE NOT FEEL ABANDONED? Jesus had had perfect communion and intimacy with the Father since the very beginning of time. There had never, NEVER, been a moment that they had ceased to communicate and express love for one another. Even while Jesus was on earth, He was always walking in the Spirit and praying to the Father. Then, for a moment, that perfect love and adoration was taking away.

            Whoa…you know I’ve heard before that Jesus experienced everything we face but I always thought that couldn’t be true. I mean how could Jesus understand what a God-shaped whole felt like when He was fully God? But He did! Right in that moment on the cross when He cried out, He actually felt what it feels like to not have God. I’ve always been taught to look to that verse when I can’t “feel” God…that Jesus couldn’t feel Him either and understood my frustration but really He had Him the whole time. But no! Jesus actually knows what unbelievers feel like deep within the core of their beings. He knows what it feels like to have a complete emptiness deep within yourself that God and God alone can fill. I’m in awe. What can I say? Lord, You reveal more and more about Yourself to me every time I dive further into Your story.

            Lord don’t let me forget Your sacrifice. Don’t let me forget Your love for me. REMIND me. Show me more of Your heart!

Lk. 23:34

Jesus, all bloodied up with organs showing and with a crown of thorns and completely humiliated and despised amoung men was asking for mercy to be given to us. Even in this state He had compassion on us; when He was drinking the full measure of God’s wrath in full strength. He is always desiring that we would recieve mercy and enter into life instead of going through what He was. He is always desiring to give mercy not a sacrifice because mercy triumphs over judgement, and it was in God’s mercy over us that He killed His son instead of us. His zeal to give mercy is displayed on the cross when He asks the Father to forgive those who are crucifying Him. Jesus’ heart is always open to anyone until their heart becomes unable to turn back to Him; He knows the end but He still give them a chance to choose mercy until it is to late. WOW big revelation, He loves giving mercy and judgement the same because it was in the heart of His creation to choose or deny Him. In doing both of these things He is producing a bride that loves Him and He is cultivating a people for Himself. When He judges He is showing us that He still cares about His creation and that He still has hope in what He can do. All that He ever does is done with the hope of turning His creation back to Himself so that they will do all that He created them for. So then with that in mind whether the earth recieves God’s wrath or favor is less in the hands of God and more for man to choose, there is no reason for man hate God and more reason for God to hate man. We have turned from Him and when He sent messengers to us to tell us to turn back we have killed them and then when He sent the perfect representative of His kingdom to fully experience human life and all that is within it so that there wouldn’t be a reason for us to be hateful we killed Him too. And in the midst of being killed He asked that we would be forgiven and that they would return and love the Father like the Father loves Himself. God is sooooo good, there is nothing that we could do to make Him turn from us, to sum it all up the Lord is good and His mercies endure forever. So the struggle of men is to see through their own blind eyes that they have put on themselves and see that they need help. The reason people don’t recieve the true gospel is because  they truly are blinded and are convinced that they can do anything by themselves and that if they are ever in trouble and need help then a coalition of men is their salvation. In reality men are diseased and can do nothing good, their whole life amounting to an empire of dirt; we need Jesus and it is only through Him that we can truly live. All of His judgements are really merciful, for He does not kill everyone, and all of His blessings are equally merciful. So maybe we should call it His blessings and judgment because mercy is over all of His works and it is not suspended at all to do something else. God desires that we choose to recieve His blessings but if anyone decides not to He is not going to be any less merciful He will just do what He must do to open up his eyes. His judgements are not hateful, He hates sin and will not force anyone to remove themselves from it and cling to Jesus. I believe that most believers struggle on this point because we have come to a conclusion that says that mercy is seperate from judgement, but in reality it triumphs over it because it is above it. We must remember that all that He does it with the aim of bringing all the people to Himself that He may dwell among them. He judges because His heart is burning with love for us to be with Him, but man continually chooses to oppose God like they can do anything. He diciplines those He loves and gives those certain people over to their sin so that they may see their weakness. I believe that many believers stumble on this point because we westerners associate love with blessing, but that is so contrary to heaven. Because He loves us He will withhold from us and for the same reason He will give extravagently to us in this life. He blesses and judges us to show us what ae the eternal rewards of what we are doing in this life, when we turn from Him it is so that we would see that if we continue in our trespasses that we will receive His full wrath, and when we turn to Him and He blesses us it is to show us that we will recieve eternal rewards.

Lk. 23:39-43

Both of these men were probably petty criminals but the truth is that both of them were recieveing only a portion of what they deserve according to what they have done. If these men were in our society most people wouldn’t bellieve that they weren’t evil enough for the Roman crucifixion, but in reality everyone who doesn’t have Jesus deserves that much times infinity. One of the men had the fear of the Lord and He admitted that He was evil and that Jesus was the perfect Son of God. The man who was hurling abuse at Him reminds me of the spirit of the world that says we’ll take any mercy that God might give and we’ll do anything we can to get away from His judgement or whatever gets in the way of our agenda. This worlds mindset is totally different froma true biblical worldview; the truth is that man is a lying, sinful, and cruel race and God is true, good, and kind to the farthest degree that we can think of.

Meditation 8 Crucifixion and Death of Christ

John 19: 17-27

What words are there to express the depths of my feelings over this Man? In this Man is found the heights and depths of love, not ordinary love, rather, the perfection of God’s love. This Man willingly, nay eagerly chose to lay His life down, for the sole reason of expressing His love to those who hated Him. It is only by the grace given me, by this Man, that I am able to attempt to describe my feelings toward Him, with these feeble words. It is by this Man, who chose to suffer humiliation and death, I am able to love. This Man put forth more effort for my salvation than I can ever hope to attain.

After being beaten and flogged almost to the point of death this Man had to live with the agony of knowing that the worst was still to come. Not even this knowledge that the worst was still to come was enough to satisfy out hate for this beautiful Man. No, we insisted that He bear a roughly hewn cross, full of sharp splinters, on His already raw shoulders, the very object that was to torture Him. Oh, the depths of our hate, but praise Him for the depths of His love. I am not even sure if I would have carried the cross under those same circumstances to save my own life, yet He bore this great pain not for Himself, rather for us those same individuals who hated Him.

When the long, excruciating toil up the hill was over, this Man was given no rest. He was immediately nailed to the cross, His guards only taking enough time to strip Him of His clothes, even further trying to humiliate the most humble Man who has ever lived. They even threw lots for His undergarment, gambling over His very clothes. Above His bleeding head there was a sign fastened, in order to mock Him, reading “Jesus of Nazareth KING of the Jews”. How true this notice was. This Man who was being tortured and killed was the King of the Jews, He was the King of all, even though none recognized Him as such.

This Man who was born as one of royalty, yet by appearance He was born a servant. This paradox was brought unto further light by the life He lived. What other man has power over the wind and waves? Yet this very man washed the disciple’s feet. This King of all allowed Himself to be beaten, tortured, and insulted, even though there has never been and will never be anyone like Him. His greatness was shown through His humility. It grieves my soul that sign hung above His battered head gave Him greater honor than He got from many while He lived, this sign that was meant as an object of humiliation.

For three agonizing hours this Man hung on the cross, we where supposed to bear, supported only by the nails through His hand and His feet. During this time even the earth mourned for Him by turning the sky black, and sending the land into darkness. Because we did not mourn Him, the earth stepped up and honored Him like we failed to do. The very blackness of the sky must have mirrored how this Man felt while He was left, for the first time, all alone. Even this Man’s God turned His back on Him in the end.

Of the multitudes that followed Him throughout His life, in the end there were only four. The first was His mother, this blessed woman who bore Him. Secondly there were two women, both of whom were called Mary. There was Mary the sister of His mother, and Mary Magdalene. Lastly there was John, the disciple this Man loved. Of the twelve followers only one did not desert Him in His death. It was to this disciple that this Man gave the care of His mother to. What an honor to be bestowed upon anyone, to be trusted with taking care of someone’s mother. Oh God how I wish to be this faithful.

John 19: 28-37

What was it like for this Man to know the exact hour of His death? Was it a comfort to Him to know when it would all be over? Or was it torturous to know what was going to happen for His entire life? How He must have agonized over the last few moments of His death, knowing that He was to ask for a drink, and after to give up His spirit. This Man the King of all, willing gave up His life for the salvation of the evil men who killed Him, US. Oh, how beautiful is this Man’s love.

After these horrific hours that this Man hung on the cross, the men who put Him there wanted to make sure he died. They asked the guards to make sure that He did not live past dusk, for they did not want Him left on the cross during the Sabbath. While they followed out these orders, it appeared to the guards that this Man was already dead. To make ultimately sure of His death they pierced Him in His side with a spear. When they saw the blood and water flow from His wound the guards knew that this glorious Man was dead.

This is the sad story of the most beautiful Man who has ever lived, Jesus the Christ. Yet, it is not such a sad story, for it is a story of love, love that the world has yet to see an equal. It is a story of the God who loves his creation enough to become like them even unto death, in order that they may become like Him even unto life. He was killed by the very thing He was trying to save. I would love to think that I would not be the one to desert my Savior, but in my heart of hearts I know that I would have been one of the ones yelling “crucify Him”, except for the grace that has been given to me by Him. Praise God that He is who He is, and that He loves above all else.

In our Excellencies of Christ class , Allen Hood encouraged us to really study the crucifixion, and I had never even considered this before that class, and never really done it till now. In fact, I think it is one of the only things I put to the back of my mind. It is almost like I don’t want to imagine this really happened, yet everything I want, and have is pivotal on this very act. I have in the last two days done a little research on scourging, and crucifixion in Roman times, I was even drawn to the Shroud of Turin. I can’t say for sure what is happening, but my stomach is in knots, I feel like vomiting, and now I feel this undying need to really search out, then meditate on the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. All of this is doing something on the inside of me, I can’t explain it. I find myself pacing the room, going over the scourging, then the humiliation of being naked in front of people, who are yelling for you to be put to death. Jesus was tired from staying up all night, then flogged, then made to carry His own cross beam. I can see Him desperately trying to carry this cross, falling down, then getting back up, and trying even harder to keep going. I have so much to learn from this alone. Luke 23 says the soldiers pulled Simon the Cyrenian, who was passing through, out of the crowd to help Jesus carry His cross. The bible says a great multitude followed Him, including women lamenting Jesus. I don’t know enough about these women who mourned, I have heard they were professional mourners. Jesus tells them, “Do not weep for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. Jesus was telling these women of things to come. He in all His pain and shame, is warning them of impending doom. When Jesus arrives at Calvary, the soldiers crucify Him, nailing Jesus between His wrist and forearm to the cross beam, then nailing His feet, hanging Him naked up in the air for all to see. Oh the shame and humiliation, I don’t have a grid for this, Holy Spirit I need help. This form of punishment was usually directed to pirates, slaves, criminals, those who had no rights, or political, and religious agitators who’s rights were taken away from them. A famous historian called it an extreme and ultimate punishment for slaves, a cruel and disgusting penalty. They were hung with their name and their crime posted above them. Pilate wrote,” Jesus King of the Jews”, and the Jews were mad at him, telling him to write that Jesus called Himself, king of the Jews. Pilate told them, “I have written what I have written.” Jesus had to lay down His life, I mean He is God, every second of this insane act of love Jesus let them do this. Jesus was crucified with two criminals, one on each side of Him. The only words Jesus says during this is, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they do. Oh Jesus help me change my speech, help me Holy Spirit. The soldiers divide His garments, and cast lots for His robe. The rulers, and soldiers mocked Him, saying awful things to Him, as if all this wasn’t enough. Forgive us Lord, we don’t know real punishment. I don’t know what it is like to really be spoken of wrongly, and falsely. I get mad at people I am supposed to love, who sometimes say things I don’t like, but I don’t have a clue what it is really like to be spoken evil of. One of the criminals mocked Jesus saying, “If You are the Christ then save Yourself, and save us. The other criminal rebukes the guy, ” Do you not fear God, we deserve this but this Man has done nothing wrong. Some where in all of this, the other criminal believes in Jesus. I don’t know what happened for him, but he gets revelation of who Jesus is. Maybe it is the way Jesus carried Himself or kept quiet, now I am curious, but however he says to Jesus in some of the most beautiful dialog I have ever read. He says, “Lord, remember me, when You come into Your Kingdom.” I love what Jesus says next, ” Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise. You know people standing around heard this conversation. In Matthew 27:45, the bible says that from the sixth hour to about the ninth hour, there was darkness over the land. Then Jesus cried out with a loud voice, ” My God, My God why have You forsaken Me?” Oh the sadness that wells up in my own heart for Jesus at this very moment. He has never been separated from the Father until this specific time in history. I need more revelation of what happened in this moment, show me Lord. One of the ones near by heard this and took a sponge with sour wine, and offered it to Jesus for a drink. Some still mocked Him up to the very end, forgive us Lord. John documents Jesus saying, “It is Finished!” Then Jesus cries out and give up His ghost/spirit. In Matthew he says, the Veil of the temple was torn into, the earth quaked, and rocks were split into, graves opened up many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, coming out of their graves, and going into the holy city and appearing to many. WWWHAT?????? The next verse says a centurion who was guarding Jesus, said after all of this,”Surely this was the Son of God!” What was his life like afterwards, knowing you just took part in putting to death of God’s Son? The Jews, because it was Preparation day, did not want the bodies to remain on the cross, ask if the legs could be broken to speed up the dying process. This was common practice during crucifixion, because dying on the cross was supposed to be a slow, torturous event. The soldiers would break the legs using iron clubs, to not give the ones hung, the support of their legs, usually resulting in asphyxiation. When the soldier got to Jesus, they see He is already dead. One of them pierces Jesus side into His heart, and blood and water came out. The next time I take communion, I will think long and hard about last supper, where Jesus says,” This cup represents My blood which is shed for many.” I had a visual once of me standing below Jesus at the cross not being able to do anything to help Him. Blood is rushing out His side and I am trying to stop it with my hands, but it is rushing out even faster. His blood is getting all over me and I am panicking to stop all the blood, but as i look down I am clean, bright. I can never thank You enough Jesus. I like that John documents the fulfilment of Old Testament prophecies. He list the one from Psalms about none of Jesus’ bones shall be broken, and then the one from Zechariah, ” They shall look upon Him who they pierced.”Oh the whole world changed at this very moment. Thank You Jesus, for all that You endured, we can’t possibly know lest You show us. This is the beginning of a new life for me today, to study Your life and Your death, with Your help, much more closely. I will give my life to this very thing. I love You Jesus.