Beholding Jesus

Jesus is in the house of Simon the leper when a woman comes in. All in the room begin to mutter and then gasp as she takes out a bottle of pure nard-worth a whole year’s wages- and breaks it open. She pours it over Jesus’ head as the extravagant scent fills the room.
What was it that compelled Mary to give Jesus such an extravagant act of worship? What had Mary seen and experienced with Jesus that was worth spending the most valuable thing that she had? How was this man different than any other man she had ever encountered? This man was so holy and pure, no one had ever been able to accuse Him of any wrongdoing, ever. Yet this man was unlike the Pharisees and teachers of the law, who loved to parade their supposed righteousness before everyone. This man touched lepers, and they became clean. He spit in blind eyes and they opened. He even ate with tax collectors and sinners. For the hungry, His teaching was full of life. It was true that His yoke was easy and His burden was light, for those willing to lay down their own yoke. Over and over the compassion of this Man for ordinary people manifested in healings and miracles. Even when He was tired from a full day of ministry, He would continue to care about the needy. He was humble and kind. And He taught with authority; He was bold and fearless of men and their opinions. He didn’t cower at their hostile opinions or fawn over those with flattering opinions. He spoke the truth, always. And He treated women as no man ever had. He allowed them to sit at His feet, to be His disciples and support Him out of their means. He honored them, gave them dignity.
It’s difficult for me to imagine what it would be like to live in a culture where women were treated as second class citizens, so I don’t think I fully appreciate how different Jesus really was for women in that day. He wasn’t embarrassed or worried about the opinions of those in authority who would have looked down on Him because He allowed women to follow Him. He saw something in them and valued them like no one else did. And why not, because He had made each one of them.
And what about the rest of the guests, and even Jesus’ disciples? They all were shocked and angered at what they considered the waste of such an expensive possession. They complained about the impracticality of Mary’s act. How much more could she have done if she had sold the perfume and given the money to the poor? How many poor people could she have fed with a year’s worth of wages? Certainly that would be more valuable than this one act of worship. Yet Jesus stands with Mary. They couldn’t see Jesus’ value. They didn’t see what Mary saw. Jesus was worth the extravagant gift. Did Mary know that He was the God Man? Did she know that He was Divinity clothed in human flesh? But she had been listening closely enough to understand that Jesus had been telling His disciples that He was about to die, and the thought of that devastated her. What would life be like without Him? She couldn’t bear the thought; to lose the only one who had ever loved her with such purity and kindness was unthinkable. Mary loved Him. He was worthy of this offering and so much more.
I have to admit I know this in my head, but don’t often connect to it in my heart. Jesus is worthy of all my worship; my whole heart. He is the second person of the Trinity, who for love chose to leave the glory of His eternal existence with the Father and the Spirit to become shrouded in obscurity here on earth, our tiny little rock of a planet in the back corner of the galaxy. He loves us. He loves me. He came because of love. He humbled Himself infinitely, and I just can’t comprehend that. But Mary understood that it was all about love.  She loved Him. I want to see Him the way she saw Him. I need that revelation of the beauty and excellence of Jesus.
Mary’s worship seemed like a waste to everyone else in the room. They thought of the monetary value of the perfume and were offended that she would spend it all on Jesus in one act. Were they convicted? In their hearts did they know that Jesus really was worth that much, but for whatever reason, they didn’t want to make the same sacrifice as Mary? I know if I’m honest I can sometimes be easily offended by other people’s extravagant expressions of worship. Sometimes when I’m not feeling much in my heart and I get close to someone who is, my response is often to become offended or defensive because I feel insecure about how Jesus sees me. Somehow, I think He doesn’t like me as much as the other people who are more expressive, so I guard my heart from Him. But it’s really hard to receive His unconditional love when my heart is guarded from Him. But I am encouraged because I know that it is the honest cry of my heart to become more in love with Jesus, and looking back, I can see progress over time so that today I am not in the same place I was 3 years ago or even one year ago. I forget that God enjoys me in my weakness. What parent despises their child’s weakness?  I want to be able to rest in His love for me in my weakness that would actually move me further and faster towards obedience that my own striving in my flesh out of obligation and guilt.